My Roman Empire

My Worst Enemy: Time, Trolls or Myself?

If I'm being honest, (and I usually am) this book, “Kind Transparency,” might have been the death of me. It was not like it seems in movies, some sort of beautiful burst of inspiration. No. It was a long, messy, and often brutal two-year journey that involved battling self-doubt, perfectionism, and, on top of it all, a self-righteous social media troll who threatened my karma. But somehow—I didn't quit. Instead, I took every punch, every self-inflicted wound, and every ounce of criticism, and I channeled it into something bigger than myself. This isn’t some feel-good journey; it's the unfiltered, unapologetic story of how I refused to be silenced.

The Original Plan: 10/17/23 (The book launch that was left on 'unread')

I had my heart set on launching this book on October 17th, 2023. It's my husband's birthday. It felt perfect. The stars were aligned, the hype was building, and I had everything mapped out down to the last detail. I thought I was done. And that’s where I went wrong—the moment you think you have everything under control, the universe chews you up and spits you out. 

Suddenly, you start picturing creepy versions of yourself in the mirror taunting you.

• “Who the hell do you think you are to write a book?”
• "This isn't done."
• "No one would actually read this, it makes no sense."

And I let that paralyze me. The thoughts that once flowed with ease felt heavy, the words became clunky, and I started nitpicking every sentence and questioning my own sanity.

Trolls Be Trippin': How a Keyboard Warrior Kickstarted My Comeback

Enter: social media bully. (*eyeroll*) You know the type—the keyboard tough guy with way too much time on their hands, lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce on anyone who dares to make something of themselves. They slid into my comments, questioning my credibility, mocking my ideas, and doing their damnedest to convince me and everyone else that I was a fraud. And here’s the most embarrassing part: I let them get to me. I started thinking, “Is this even worth it? Why bother trying to put myself out there? If I give up, this goes away.”

You see, it’s easy to preach about authenticity when you’re in a safe, supportive environment. But when you’re stripped bare in front of an audience that’s more interested in tearing you down than lifting you up, that’s when the real test begins. And let me tell you, it’s a test I almost failed.

I could have clapped back at this troll with some snarky one-liners or a retaliation attack. But I didn’t. Instead, I let it simmer. I let it marinate until I realized something crucial: This wasn’t completely about them. It was about me. It was about my fear of not being good enough, my addiction to perfectionism, and my tendency to let external validation define my worth.

Hot mess to Resounding success?

The day I was supposed to send my manuscript to the publisher, I sat at my computer, staring at the screen, paralyzed. I kept rewriting the same damn sentence over and over, convincing myself it wasn’t “good enough.” I was caught in this vicious cycle of perfectionism—fixated on creating a flawless piece of work that didn’t exist. And the irony? The very essence of “Kind Transparency” is about embracing imperfection, about showing up as your flawed, authentic self.

So, there I was—a failure based on my own arbitrary self-set deadlines. Haunted by a troll, who I could keep blocking, but was powerless to get rid of. It was at this point that I had to make a choice: Do I let these obstacles define me, or do I own my story and make this book everything it was meant to be?

I chose the latter. I chose violence "Aggressive Kindness." I decided to push back my launch date, not because I was giving up, but because I was gearing up for the fight of my life.

The Glow-Up: Finding My Main Character Energy and Hitting Restart

I took the last year to regroup. And by regroup, I mean I had to take a hard look in the mirror and confront all the parts of myself that we holding me back. I had to ask myself, “What is really in my way? What do you actually stand for? What's the worst that could happen?”

And you know what I found out? I’m not some fragile, breakable thing that a few nasty comments can destroy. I’m a relentless, stubborn, unapologetically honest person who cares deeply about people, process, and doing the right thing—even when it’s not the popular choice. I’m the kind of person who’s going to tell you the truth, even when it's hard, because I believe in the power of transparency and authenticity.

That’s when I knew that this book wasn’t just something I wanted to write—it was something I HAD to write. It was the message I needed to share, not just for myself, but for every person who’s ever doubted their worth, who’s ever been silenced by a bully, or who’s ever felt like they weren’t enough.

The 2024 catchphrase: No Bullies!

The mantra for this year quickly became No Bullies! It's exhausting when you're doing well and put effort into something great, just to be constantly being bombarded with negative comments and people that take away from what you've created. It's all about power. Weak people try to take power by coercion, manipulation, and brute force.

Spoiler alert: They don’t actually have any real power. The only power they have is what you give them. And I don’t know about you, but I’m done giving mine up.

That social media bully was commenting on my posts, pictures of my children, criticizing my work, and basically telling the world I was fake. I did something that I regret—I gave them power. I let them impact my actions. I let their words have tangible impact. And for a hot minute, I almost let them win. I almost threw in the towel because, in that moment, I forgot something crucial: I control the narrative. I control my story. Not them.

But here’s the thing about bullies—they only thrive in the reaction. They only win when you fight back, when you start believing the garbage they’re shoveling your way. And that’s the trap. That’s how they maintain this illusion of power. It’s all smoke and mirrors, a damn magic trick that they’ve convinced themselves they’re good at. The moment you pull back the curtain, you see the truth: They’re just scared, insecure, and vulnerable, even more so than the rest of us.

Reclaiming the Balance of Power

The power dynamic with bullies is all about perception. They want you to believe that they have some sort of authority over you, that their opinion matters more than yours. But guess what? It doesn’t. Their power only exists if you acknowledge it. So: Don’t.

Don’t waste your energy explaining yourself to someone who has no intention of understanding you. Don’t bend over backward trying to win their approval, because here’s the hard truth—they’ll never give it to you. Their goal isn’t to see you succeed; it’s to see you doubt yourself, to see you hesitate, to see you shrink. And I’m telling you right now, you have two options: You can either feed into that narrative, or you can rip it to shreds and rewrite it.

When I decided to take that extra year to regroup, redefine, and reset, I wasn’t just writing a book—I was reclaiming my power. I was telling that bully, and every other person who doubted me, that I wasn’t going anywhere. That I wasn’t going to be silenced or sidelined just because they decided to project their insecurities onto me.

Taking Action: The Power of Boundaries

I'm the first person to tell you that you should try to understand other people. Speaking in practicalities, people can and do change. But, only if the want to, if they're willing to put in the work. So, unfortunately sometimes you have to walk away. They’re going to keep doing what they do, spewing negativity, and trying to tear you down. So, what’s the move? You set boundaries. You draw a line in the sand, and you make it damn clear that they don’t get to cross it. You don’t engage with their nonsense. You don’t justify, explain, or defend. You simply say, “This is where I stand, and if you can’t respect that, there’s the door.”

And don’t get it twisted—setting boundaries isn’t about being passive or weak. It’s standing firm in your truth and not allowing anyone to shake you from it, and recognizing your worth and refusing to let anyone make you feel like less.

The Writing Process: Brutal, Raw, and Unfiltered

So, I went back to the drawing board, but this time, I stripped away the filters. I wasn’t interested in writing a “nice” leadership book that would blend in with the thousands of others collecting dust on a shelf. I wanted to write something that would slap you in the face with its honesty. I wanted to challenge the status quo, to call out the BS, and to show you that it’s okay to be messy, to be imperfect, and to be unapologetically YOU.

I wrote and rewrote, illustrated, tore pages out, and then taped them back together. I cried over this book. I laughed at it. I raged against it. But every time I felt like giving up, I reminded myself why I started: Because the world doesn’t need more fake, filtered leadership advice. It needs real stories, real struggles, and real solutions.

The Comeback: October 17th, 2024

And here we are, one year later than planned, but right on time. On October 17th, 2024, “Kind Transparency” will finally launch. And this time, there’s no turning back. I’m no longer hiding behind perfectionism or silencing myself to please others. This book is me, stripped down to the core, offering you everything I’ve learned about communication, leadership, and navigating the messy, beautiful chaos of life.

I’m not here to be everyone’s cup of tea. I’m here to be brutally honest, to challenge you to dig deeper, and to push you to embrace the uncomfortable truth that you are capable of so much more than you think. I’m here to show you that kindness isn’t weakness, that transparency isn’t a vulnerability, and that you can, in fact, 'say what you mean without being a jerk'.

Why This Book Matters Now More Than Ever

In a world that’s obsessed with image, where everyone’s busy curating their highlight reels and hiding behind carefully constructed personas, “Kind Transparency” is a wake-up call. It’s a reminder that you don’t have to have it all figured out, that it’s okay to be a work in progress, and that your story—warts and all—is worth sharing.

I’m done playing small. I’m done letting fear dictate my narrative. And if you’ve ever felt like you were on the verge of something great but too scared to take that leap, this book is for you. It’s a guide, a kick in the ass, and a love letter to every person who’s ready to break free from the chains of self-doubt and show up as their most authentic, badass selves.

So, here it is. The story behind “Kind Transparency.” Raw, unfiltered, and unapologetically real—just like me.

Get ready. Because on October 17th, 2024, we’re not just launching a book. We’re launching a movement.

We have hope, rebellions are built on hope!